People often tell me I’m lucky. When they see my kids helping me in the kitchen or cook on their own, when they hear that my kids do their own laundry, when they see my kids behave while I shop, when they hear my kids eat veggies!!! They say, “Wow, you’re so lucky that your kids do that”. And it makes me wanna scream! Its not luck! Yes, I’m blessed to have kids. But I was given kids just as you were given kids. I’m not special.
It’s not luck. I didn’t have them just dropped onto my lap all perfect (well they kind of were in the beginning). But it’s not like my kids have a special “good kid” gene from somewhere.
Every human is born into this world with a selfish, sinful nature and we, the parents, get to have this wonderful privilege to raise them right.
The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
It is up to us to teach them right from wrong. To show them values. To build their character. The amount of effort, time, and prayer you put into raising them will determine, to an extent, the way they’ll be for the rest of their lives. No pressure!
Now, before you think that I was this great parent and just naturally had the wisdom in how to raise my kids, let me tell you, I was 19 when I had my first baby! I knew nothing!! I just barely learned how to make mashed potatoes properly. (Seriously though, for like a year, my mashed potatoes always turned out rubbery and I couldn’t figure out why!) Sure, I had younger siblings and I knew how to change a diaper, but as far as parenting, zilch. Nada! And for the first year or so, I just winged it.
So how is it that a person with zero knowledge in parenting figure a thing or two out? (I’m still figuring out thing #3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…………………………………… )
It all comes down to desire!
Desire to raise your kids right.
Desire to put in the research. To put in the time. To put in the work. To try things. Constantly and consistently.
It was when my first baby was about 1 when I read my first parenting book. And I’ve read numerous more since. I already hear some of you say, “I don’t have time to read” or “I’m not a reader” well, guess what?! Nobody with children has all this wonderful free time to read, unless it’s a book about Winnie the Pooh. You have to make the time for it. If I found ways to read with 3 kids under 3, you can too. I read not because I just enjoyed reading and had “so much free time”, I read because I wanted to know more. I needed to learn more about this parenting thing. Besides, there is more than one way to read a book! Listen to it! Listen while you clean the house, drive to grandmas, drive to work, church, wherever. BTW, that’s how I got my hubby to “read” a book on parenting. I turned it on in the car during our 40 minute drives to and from church and a few road trips. #winning. There’s also plenty of videos on parenting. Just make sure the people you are learning from have the same values as you.
But the point is, find ways to learn. And when you hear something that you agree with, apply it. Try it out. And not just once, then give up if it doesn’t work. Keep trying. It’s worth it. Your kids rely on you.
No, it’s not easy. It involves lots of prayer, frustration, and tears. But you gotta be willing to try. And to keep trying. Invest your time in your kids. You were put in charge of them. Its your job to guide them. They can’t figure it out on their own.
Don’t give up and just say, “Oh, it’s my kid, there’s no changing him.” There is hope.
It’s all about how badly you want the outcome that you’re hoping for. Parenting isn’t easy. But if an amateur like me can have responsible and creative kids, than with a little effort, lots of prayer and some tears, so can you!
Leave me a comment and tell me what your favorite book on parenting is. I would love to know, and maybe read it too. 😉
😍