Teach your kids to work

Do you struggle with not allowing your kids to do certain things because they’re too young, they’re super sloppy, or they’ll make a mess? Would you rather do the thing yourself just to save the hassle of extra clean up or having something look sloppy? Do you struggle with perfectionism, like I did? Well, let me tell ya, if you want your kids doing anything in the kitchen, or making their own bed, or folding their own laundry(maybe even yours), then that perfectionism has got to go. (You can let it come back maybe after the kids are out of the house). I have a tendency to be a perfectionist, but I’ve made myself work on tuning it out for the sake of  letting my kids learn and grow.

Its so easy to think that kids are just too young to do certain tasks, and send them off to play, because they “dont know how to do it”, or they’re too young, or they’ll make a huge mess, and that’s more work for you. And then once they reach a certain age, an age where now they are old enough to be doing things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, you expect them to do it, but they resist and want nothing to do with it, and you have to beg, nag, argue, and overall just put tension in the relationship.

When kids are young, they want to be all up in your business. They want to help you cook, they steal your broom away and try to sweep, they want to vacuum, give them a washcloth and they’ll be overjoyed to wipe the table, or the windows, the walls. This is usually when they’re more in the way than they are helpful. Like, the times when you have to clean up AFTER they “clean up”.

BUT… this is when you need to let them!! And keep letting them. Let them sit on the counter putting brownie batter into the pan while dripping all over the counter and sides of the pan along the way. (You can try to make that preventable, but they’ll find other ways to make it messy, like somehow get it all over themselves to the elbows. You cringe inside and your hands just itch to do it yourself. Trust me, I know the feeling.) Buy them a small broom and let them sweep with you. Let them use the vacuum and mop the floor. Let them “fold” some laundry(even if you have to refold it later). If they show any interest, let them join you. And if they don’t show interest, ask then to join you. Don’t shoo them away to just go play. Don’t tell them they’re too small. Yes, there are things they’re too small for, like using the stove or a knife, but find ways to have them involved.

Teach them along the way, proper techniques and better ways of doing things, but be patient, they might not get it right away . The more they do it, the better they will get.

I tried to involve my kids in everything. Many times, I’d have to re-clean things after them, things like baking and cooking would take longer, I’d have to refold laundry, they’d make a huge mess, but the benefit of them participating far outweighs all that extra work. They, now, at age 7, 8, and 9, do their own laundry, load and unload the dishwasher, vacuum, mop, clean the bathrooms, clean the kitchen, cook, bake, and my 9 year old even mows the lawn, with no help.

Unfortunately, they aren’t as thrilled about doing all these chores as they were when they were toddlers, but they still do it and to me, that alone is a win. It becomes something they’ve just always done. It’s normal.It’s not ‘I’ve always had free time and spent all my time playing, eating and sleeping, and now you want me to do what?! Clean?! UGH’

Now, I’ve had times when I had to make something pretty for a party and my ”reputation was on the line”😜 and for some reason, those were the times the kids REALLY wanted to help, and you think “ummm, I dunno what Auntie Sue will think if she finds out this was touched by a 4 year old”, so I would either find something they can do that won’t leave a mark, make it during nap time, or just say, “thank you so much for wanting to help, but mommy’s gonna do this one herself” and give them some ideas of other fun things they can do, or have them watch me.

As kids get older, their enthusiasm to help you slows down, but you should still have them be involved in the dinner making and clean up. You’ll just have to ask them to join you. They wont always come running to help. I have days when its time to make dinner and the kids are occupied with something and I don’t mind cooking alone, I don’t ask my kids to come cook with me. You don’t ALWAYS have to have them by your side, but if they are coming to you wanting to help you, no matter what age, don’t EVER say, “you’re too young” “go play” “I don’t need your help” “you’ll just make a mess”, or “you don’t know how to do it”. That’s just one way to help them lose all interest in doing anything around the house, and once they grow up and “are ready to work”, it’ll be a struggle to get them to do anything. Besides, anything that they “don’t know how to do” is a sign that you should teach them (more on that later). I try to involve my kids in all household duties like 95% of the time. Its a family affair.

Tell me in the comments below, do you have a hard time letting your kids help you with things because it takes so much longer??